SYGAS: Being a Cynical *******

6 06 2011

It’s E3 week.  For those who visit the internet once a decade, don’t have a television, and are allergic to human interaction, E3 is the Electronics Entertainment Expo.  E3 is the world’s premiere event for all things relating to video games.  Every gaming company, large and small, comes out of the woodwork to show off every fabulous bell and delicious whistle that their company will offer in the coming months.

This year, I’m noticing a horrid trend of people trying to put down  some of the most fantastic technology ever made for entertainment purposes, on what I can only assume is some type of cynicism trip.  Instead of lighting up like a five year old poor boy on Christmas, I’ve seen dozens of blogs, and hundreds of posts bashing the culture we all hold so dear.  With that said, I think it’s time for another iteration of everyone’s favorite:

Diem Presents:  Since You Guys are Stupid:
Being a Cynical *******

Do you know who is a ****ing riot?  Lewis Black.  Dude basically started the cynicism movement.  His negative views on positive things are both insightful and hilarious.  I remember back when he was talking about how Bottled Water was the most ridiculous thing on the ****ing planet.  I agreed.

Now, when something is awesome, of course, there are going to be (especially in today’s market) tons of imitations.  I mean, how many god-awful super hero movies have we had to struggle through because X-Men raped the Box Office in 2000?  In Lewis Black’s case, anyone with a skewed view on the world (See:  Everyone) is trying their hand at being a jerkoff.


Well, yeah, maybe.

What a lot of you don’t realize is that this view of the world comes at what I think is a hefty price.  Every time you see something in a negative light, you lose to ability to see whatever it is you’re looking at as perfect ever again.  Every snide comment actually darkens your heart a bit.

Now, let’s back track a bit.  Like I said earlier, It’s E3 week.  this is the biggest and best week of any gamer’s internet life.  For those lucky enough to attend (I’ve been twice, and I couldn’t impress on you the importance of going at least once.) it might very well be the best week of your year.  In my case, it’s a trip I’ll never forget.

A few hours ago, Microsoft put on their Keynote press conference.  Showing the best and brightest of whats to come in the next 18~ months or so.  They showed off a plethora of triple A titles including HaloCE Anniversary, Gears of War 3, Modern Warfare 3, HALO FOUR!!!!, and a slew of games for the non shooter gamer.

Among their game releases, they showed how amazing the X-BOX Kinect will be with the coming software.  Allowing you to fully control your  X-BOX dashboard with your voice.  It will also allow you to search what will be millions of functions from gaming, to music, movies and even live television!

They made a fully scaled Disneyland game, where kids can experience some of the magic of the (second) happiest place on Earth, right from their ****ing house.  They were able to make fully 3d rendered models of people or objects, and turn them into avatars in less than 10 seconds.

Okay sure, Lewis Black could make a video about how Disneyland is a piece of ****, and Cookie Monster is a ****** and we’d all have our sides in splints.  But, that doesn’t mean everyone needs to hark on every single negative point of everything coming out.

You, as gamers, should be ****ing pumped that companies are catering to every whim we can think up.  Did you see the Gunsmith portion of the Ghost Recon demo?  I was blown away?

And people are complaining that Chief already finished the fight?  Who is gonna tell me they weren’t stoked when Chief grabbed that ****ing piece of metal before flying out into space, and then just stood there, not at all fazed, looking completely badass?  Get the **** out of here.

Everyday, I make comments at people, explaining why they’re idiots for the bull**** they say.  Everyday, I log on to find Zork saying something stupid.  Everyday, I see people raging at being trolled because they’re too stupid to realize what the **** is going on.  And yeah, it shrinks my heart.  So, I’m negative, and harsh.

Just because I am that way, doesn’t mean you have to try to be at every opportunity.  I petition every ****ing one of you to go and re-watch the keynote with an open heart.  Don’t sit and expect 70 new games, and every single series you want.  Watch for the news, watch for what is being created for us.

Being cynical is fun, sure, but there’s always a downside.  I’m not sure if you’d want to see the world how I see it.  but, I’m damn sure everyone could use a touch more joy in their lives.  It’s E3 week ******s, don’t ****ing ruin it.




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